"Michestone" Tire Combo Helps Clinch F1 Championship

"Paddy O'Moto wants to turn left on Bridgetones and turn right on Michelins. I'm not going to argue with him. Especially in Brazil."

So said Two Micks Racing chief, Michael McMahon, at the post-race press conference when asked how he was able to get the two largest and most competitive racing tire manufacturers to put aside their multi-billion dollar differences and construct cooperative rubber for O'Moto's championship clincher.

Nicknamed "The Bipartisan" by a cynical American press, the multinational tire package featured the best of both companies. The 'Stones were sticky for the lefts; and the Michelins poised on the rights. But the almost sexual chemistry between the tires was not fully realized until the long back straight of Interlagos, where O'Moto's TMR 2008.75 chassis,  topping 340 km/hr in the speed trap, reached a temperature previously thought possible only during a Teddy Pendergrass ballad.

"You know, honestly, with the conditions the way they were late race, I could have won on my lawn mower with the blade down," said the now 9-time World Champion. "The spray was just heinous. I thought they'd put in a lap pool. Still, it was great watching those two CEO's hug like that."

While the stewards will neither officially confirm nor deny the reported mid-race installation  of a swimming pool, local favorite Felipe Massa did finish second in the championship."

"I just want to thank God and my family," said the native Brazilian predictably.

With the 2008 season officially over, multiple world champion O'Moto heads north to defend his Iditarod title, after which he will almost certainly defeat his nephew at a Go-Cart-themed birthday party.

O'Moto Even Winning the Rat Race

Sources close to 'the Man' reveal exclusively to this web log that international racing gigastar, Paddy O'Moto, has pulled out a substantial lead in the allegorical, yet highly competitive, Rat

Race.

Once the exclusive domain of young, scrupleless lawyers and vapid but earnest advertising executives, the world's most celebrated motorsport stylist is now burning a smoking rubber stripe across the pasty flanks of professional professionals everywhere. And while no qualitative measurement exists for this type of competition, they say Paddy O'Moto has gone farther faster than anyone since John F. Kennedy. 

The national T.H.E.Y. spokesperson, I.M. Inahuri, issued the following official statement from his alternate Blackberry, although he was extremely busy: 

"While our bylaws prevent us from ever declaring an actual winner, Mr. O'Moto's recent accomplishments have exceeded even those of that one guy who made partner before he was 25. Just last week, while shouting instructions to his broker who was strapped to the hood selling AIG stock short, Paddy was able to grab pole position for the Camping World RV 400 at Dover International Speedway; all the while successfully lobbying Congress to table their vote on decreasing the interstate speed limit. The fact that he used his cool-down lap to instant message his tire preferences to the Bridgestone engineers in Singapore made it very clear to us that this kid  is on the fast track to success."

Mr. O'Moto, who was picking up his girlfriend's kids from soccer practice and unavailable for comment, soon hopes to set an unbreakable lap record around the vicious circle.