Sepia-toned 917 Dominates Vintage Motor Race

On a track that went uphill in both directions, Paddy O'Moto carried a water pail to victory at this year's Monterey Historics, which are actually held in Salinas.

"I knew this color would be great for the middle-aged amateur photographer who regrets not getting into racing until later in life," said internationally renowned paint stylist Joey Lacascia. "Black and white is so mid-century."

The coffee table book-ready Porsche was never challenged, as motorsport Zeus, Paddy O'Moto, led the high speed parade from flag to flag.

"Dan [Gurney] and Niki [Lauda] got in my grill," said the racing legend who still looks great even without soft lighting. "But what they didn't know was that I took their Moms to the prom in this car."

A mid-race dust-up nearly cost O'Moto his victory.

"Mario got into me coming out of four. I had to pull him over," recounted O'Moto. "Then I realized, it's really hard to upshift when you're punching another legend in the face. I let him go only after he promised me another lasagna."

With this victory, O'Moto becomes the all-time winningest racer ever, surpassing himself in a previous life.

O'Moto Wins Dakar Rally in Irreplaceable '58 Testarossa

With esteemed car museum curator and navigator Tony Platt shouting directions and admonitions, esteemed racing legend Paddy O'Moto took top honors in the treacherous 2010 Dakar Rally.

Campaigning what an insurance adjuster conservatively called "The most expensive car in the world", O'Moto needed just one week to complete the two week event.

"We got a late start," explained the world's greatest racer through a greatness translator. "Those judges at the Concours d'Elegance take their own sweet time."

Having rested on a crushed velvet cushion surrounded by virgins since 1962, the Le Mans-winning Ferrari 250 TR had many paddock insiders skeptical:

"It has drum brakes and 50-year old suspension for goodness sake," said runner-up and first loser Carlos Sainz. "How did he lap me like that?"

"Well, I knew some of the indigenous tribes of South America really like their drums," answered O'Moto. "That short cut through the Amazon jungle was one big braking zone."

"It was tough at first," continued everyone's hero. "These old GT cars don't fly through the air so well. But once I apexed Cape Horn, I knew we had it in the bag."

"I just want to thank Team Two Micks and that nice lady who changed my oil in Lima."

Race engineer, race prodigy reunited after 36 years