High Speed Chase Ends With Autographs, Hugs

In what producers of 'World's Wildest Police Videos' are calling the "fastest, most daring high speed chase on record and an absolute ratings bonanza", motorsport supernova, Paddy O'Moto, today led state & local law enforcement officers on a wildly expeditious pursuit that regularly exceeded 200 miles per hour.

"Fall colors are prettier when they're blurry," said O'Moto, a noted collector of Impressionist art. "But I only topped out at 220 'cuz my Michelins started smoking like a soccer mom at Burning Man. For my next felony endangerment charge, I'll be running Bridgestones." 

Very late for the opening practice session of the AMA Superbike finale at Laguna Seca, Paddy O'Moto used a Two Micks Racing-tuned Bugatti Veyron to outwit his gun-toting rivals. Making the feat even more remarkable is our knowledge that O'Moto had just flown in from Singapore, where he'd used an in-house developed, g-force certified night vision goggle package to qualify on pole for Formula One's very first night race. 

Reportedly assisted with driving directions by a blind local disc jockey, Mr. O'Moto's twisting, turning escape route from the Petaluma Municipal Airport to the front gates of Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca covered more than 230 miles, some of them upside down. 

"When I saw those National Guard tanks inside the Caldicot Tunnel, I figured I needed to test the new down-force package we've been working on since Catalunya," said Paddy. "It wasn't flawless anti-gravity execution, but I did high-five that gunman in his turret." 

Upon arriving in pastoral Salinas, Paddy was greeted surprisingly not with pepper spray and shotguns, but with popping flashbulbs and gushing lawmen. "We're not going to arrest him because he stopped at every school crossing and gave such high praise to our California roads," said CHiP spokesperson E. Estrada. "You can't buy that kind of publicity."

Only O'Moto's right foot was photographed and fingerprinted, leaving his hands free to sign autographs. 

"I had to hitchhike down here to see this," said Jamal Berkeley, whose new Ducati 1098R had been politely commandeered by O'Moto mid-chase. "What a cool guy, he even got it detailed for me."

Using the bone stock, Italian streetbike, O'Moto shattered the Laguna Seca track record on his second lap of the session.

In a late-breaking and related story, French tire giant Michelin declared bankruptcy and is currently waving the white flag of debt relief.